You should give careful consideration to your language choices and style, which should achieve a sense of Keith's mother's voice. (45 marks - AO1 = 15 marks + AO4 = 30 marks)
The student's response should:- from the exam board
- achieve a sustained first person narrative
- create a sense of Keith's mother's voice - standard English with some middle class expressions appropriate to the era, formal register
- describes the boys' behaviour
- shows her awareness that their game involves watching her
- convey's her discomfort at being the subject of their interest
- reveals her concern about Peter and her feelings for him
- comments on her husband and the importance of keeping her visits to Peter a secret
- gives her account of how she takes supplies to Peter
- describes Aunty Dee and her feelings towards her
- Bare in mind you are referring to the end of chapter 4 and through to the end of chapter 5 - where Mrs Hayward warns Stephen not to follow her. She says, '...I think it might be a tiny bit rude if you actually followed people around.' The boys follow Mrs Hayward in chapter 6 where they attack who they think is a tramp hiding in the Barns. The boys' relationship ends after this episode.
- You should be absolutely clear in your own mind about at what point in the novel you are setting this narrative and only refer to events that have taken place prior to this point. If you draw on events or knowledge that have not taken place or have not been disclosed yet, you may be marked down.
- The question asks you to write a 'narrative' - some of you treated this as an internal monologue but you could consider writing a journal or think about your text as an extract of a short story.
- Don't be too subtle when you want to make relevant points. Don't rely on the sensitivity of an exam marker. Make points that are really clear and obvious. You may need to sacrifice a narrative's realism to make a point that an examiner will pick up on and mark.
- Try and draw in episodes from other parts of the novel. Don't just refer to episodes from before the time you have set your narrative. But you should refer to other characters like Ted, Dee and the other neighbours where it is appropriate. Don't go into too much detail but make clear references to them in your answer.
- Avoid writing content thin and long answers. Write short, concise and detailed answers. Avoid the repetition of the same information.
