Wednesday, 4 December 2013

A2 LL - PREVIOUS FEEDBACK COMMENTS ON FIRST DRAFT ESSAYS

I found the contents of this post on a handout I gave out to students a few years ago. I thought it was a good handout so I've posted it to you.

After marking your draft essays I realised there were many similar points I was making on each essay. I suggest you read this handout in conjunction with your essay draft and edit it as soon as possible. You could work on your drafts before we meet for our one to one interview.

  • To enable you to write an essay in the right amount of detail, you should answer the essay question with reference to either, two poems per poet or two poems from one poet and one short story or two episodes from two short stories from one author. Your essay must include the work of one poet.

  • Remember to write a lot about a little. For every quotation you use try and write at least three relevant comments on the quotation. Your comments must draw from the literary and or linguistic frameworks. This includes commenting on grammar - verbs, nouns & adjectives - lexis, register – formal & formal, syntax – simple, compound and complex sentences, declarative, interrogative, exclamatory and instructional sentences – as well as imagery – metaphor, simile, personification, symbolism and sound techniques such as, rhyme, rhythm, alliteration, assonance & onomatopoeia. You can also refer to rhetorical devices such as, contrasting pairs, lists of three, direct address to the reader and repetition. You can also refer to the connotations or associations linked to key words. Remember to always comment on the effects of these techniques on the reader – us. Effects are usually emotional – anger or sympathy for example. Or techniques are used to create a strong impression; they make things stand out for us.

  • When you are writing about poems refer to to the poetic voice or narrative voice of the poems. Don't write about Heaney or Plath. Avoid biographical details of the lives of the poets. But you can write about the poems as having an autobiographical feel to them.

  • Remember this is a comparative essay. I think ideally you write about one text in a paragraph. Then using a link sentence write a comparative paragraph to your comparison text. For example you may refer to Heaney’s poetic voice of excitement and enjoyment in nature in one paragraph. And in a second paragraph write about the child character in the Dubliners short stories full of excitement and anticipation. Use a link sentence to connect the two paragraphs showing how one writer is either similar or different to the other. For some of you, you will need to rearrange some of your paragraphs.

  • All essays should include a full, detailed and concise introduction. An introduction includes the title and writers you are going to use, write a brief summary of the plot of short stories and poems - where appropriate - or main subject or themes of more reflective poems. You should state what you intend to compare in your essays be specific, for example, Plath's settings are urban and domestic were as Heaney sets his poems in nature at first as exciting and then… . You could outline the main techniques the writers use to communicate their themes.

  • Some of you try and communicate complex ideas in complicated sentences. But these can be confusing. Try and break ideas down into simpler sentences.

  • Remember the paragraph structure of making a straightforward point, expand on the point in more specific detail to the writer you are about to examine, introduce a relevant quotation – by referring to the context of the quotation, -  a quotation should be a word or a phrase, it should prove the point you want to make and have at least three different comments you can write about it, comment on the quotation – drawing on literary and language frameworks and the effect on us as readers - see bullet point 2.

  • Make sure there is a structure to your essay, introduction, main body and conclusion. Write the most important and significant points and comparisons first.

  • Make sure you adopt a formal academic register. Avoid colloquial language, buzz words etc.

  • Remember to comment on the genre you are writing about – poetry and or prose. Let the examiners know you know about the short story and poetry genres.

· Finally, keep your draft essay. It will need to be submitted with your final essay.

Hope you find this helpful

David

Tuesday 5.30 am

A2 LL - PLANNING SHEET

A2 ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE
ELLA 4 COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS THROUGH INDEPENDENT STUDY
A PLANNING SHEET

Here is a TEMPLATE plan for your 2500 word essay.

PARA
[TOPIC SENTENCE] POINT
QUOTATION
COMMENTS
COMPARATIVE COMMENT
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A2 LL - COURSEWORK GUIDE

A2 ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE

ELLA 4:  Comparative Analysis through Independent Study
THE COURSEWORK GUIDE

The requirements for the coursework:

·         You must compare TWO writers in your coursework essay.

·         ONE of these writers MUST be a poet.

·         You may choose to compare two different poets OR compare one poet’s writing with a prose fiction text (novel or short story) OR a play.  When discussing a poet’s writing you should aim to consider about 2 / 3 poems per poet; with prose fiction or a play aim to consider about 2 / 3 key extracts. (NB the aim is to write a close analytical comparison; you must write a lot about a little!)

·         You must write a minimum of 2000 and a maximum of 2500 words.

·         You must submit a FIRST DRAFT to your teacher who will then offer guidance and advice about how to develop and improve your essay on a 1 to 1 basis.  This will include annotations to your essay and a discussion.

·         You must then work independently on your FINAL DRAFT.  You may discuss an aspect of the texts you are comparing or an aspect of your essay with your teacher but there must be no further written feedback or advice.

·         Your final draft must be submitted with: 

1.      the essay with a signed coversheet

2.      the first draft with your teacher’s notes /advice

3.      copies of the texts discussed in the essay (this can be your annotated copies of poems) including photocopies of key extracts from fiction or play texts.

DEADLINES
DATE
Coursework essay title decided
w.b. 9 December 2013
Completed detailed essay plan, thesis, start drafting
w.b. 16 December 2013
Christmas Break
First draft essay deadline
by Fri 10  Jan 2014
First drafts returned and 1 to 1 appointments from
Between 17  – 24  Jan 2014
Coursework deadline
Thursday 13 February 2014

 
·         You MUST meet the deadline for the final draft. Late submissions will not be accepted without a medical certificate of illness or other exceptional circumstances notified by your parent / guardian.

·         PLAGIARISM: you must not copy anything from critical essays or study guides you may have read about your chosen writers. You sign a declaration that the essay is all your own work.  Coursework marks are cancelled if plagiarism is found by AQA.  If plagiarism is found in your essay before it is sent to AQA (by your own teacher or by others in the English team during moderation) you will have to rewrite your coursework essay in examination conditions with the English Section Manager; you will only have access to the texts and handwritten notes made in lessons.

 The ASSESSMENT OBJECTIVES FOR ELLA 4 COURSEWORK

AO1     select and apply relevant concepts and approaches from integrated linguistic study using appropriate terminology and accurate written expression.  (you need to be able to use appropriate specialist concepts and literary and linguistic terminology to write about literary texts AND write clearly, precisely and accurately.)                                                                                                  30 marks
AO3     use integrated approaches to explore relationships between texts, analysing and evaluating the significance of contextual factors in their production and reception.  (you need to evaluate and interpret texts using your linguistic and literary understanding AND compare texts - which might include some relevant social / cultural / historical contexts).                                                                                                                                            30 marks

Advice for successful coursework:

Title:  make sure that the title you decide on (with guidance from your teacher) begins with the words:  “Compare the ways in which …. “ and does not have too broad a focus for comparison.  A good title has a clear/ sharp focus for comparison:          

 e.g. “Compare the ways in which Heaney and Friel depict conflict in relationships in ‘Selected Poems’ and ‘Translations’.” 
 OR                                                                                                                                                                
 “Compare the ways in which Larkin and Blake portray urban and rural environments in their poetry.”

Introduction and Thesis:    You should name and introduce the key writers you will be analysing. Make sure you establish a clear and interesting thesis in the opening paragraph.  A ‘thesis’ here means a proposition (or key idea which links your chosen texts) which you intend to prove through your argument.  This will expand upon and explain the title.  You need to sustain a logical investigation of that thesis throughout the essay i.e. refer back to your title and thesis to build up your argument.

e.g. Both William Blake and Philip Larkin offer portrayals of both urban and rural life in their collections of poetry ‘Songs of Innocence and Experience’ and ‘The Whitsun Weddings’. Blake presents the clarity and continuity of rural lives as opposed to  Larkin’s view of the complexity of life and the powerlessness of individuals within large cities such as London or Hull.

Relevance:    Firstly, make sure the key theme of your thesis is properly illustrated by the texts you have chosen.  Then make sure to select a range of apt quotations to illustrate the points you wish to make to build your argument and support your original thesis. This will show clearly in your paragraph plan, which will show a series of key topics and the key evidence you will discuss

e.g.  (just 2 paragraphs here – you will need several!)

Key point
Evidence to analyse and discuss
Blake values dignity/ beauty of rural life   similar to
Larkin sees nature offering inspiration /. Freedom / tranquillity
The Echoing Green: “the sun does arise etc  ......’  -  innocence / happiness.  “green”  “skylark” etc -
Here: “unfenced, out of reach” ...  no restrictions / endless space
Blake – London as crowded and haunted contrasts with his Echoing Green
City – “sigh” and “curse”
E. Green “laugh away care”

 Comparison:  you need to sustain a balanced comparison of the methods of the two writers and relate that clearly to the theme chosen. This means that you compare the texts throughout the essay – don’t write about them separately or one-by-one.                                                                                                         Sometimes it will be straightforward to link / compare an aspect of two texts in one paragraph.  At other times you may need to devote a whole paragraph or even two paragraphs to make some well-developed analytical points about one writer’s choice and use of language and their effects.  But you must regularly make comparative links between the texts you have chosen.

e.g. a paragraph which compares 2 writers:

Blake valued rural life and often writes of its dignity, as in the second poem from ‘Songs of Innocence and Experience’, ‘Echoing Green’.  He portrays the idea of innocence reflected in nature within the village with ‘The sun doth rise, And make happy the skies’ carrying strong connotations of life, happiness and prosperity.  Blake, as in many other works, adopts a simple style of writing in order to reflect his ideology that simple village life holds importance.  The poem continues to evoke the innocence of the natural environment through his diction such as ‘green’, ‘skylark’ and ‘bush’.  The image of villages welcoming ‘the spring’ transfers the season’s connotations of growth, life and rebirth to the villages themselves and sound imagery links the celebratory atmosphere and liveliness of the village: ‘Bells sing louder’ and ‘cheerful sound’ with the mood of nature.  Larkin presents a similar idea of nature offering inspiration and a chance to listen to your own voice in “Here” through his description of outer coastal areas. “Here is unfenced existence: Facing the sun, untalkative, out of reach.’ Larkin, unlike Blake, emphasises silence as accompanying freedom and tranquillity in nature. Larkin’s use of diction in ‘unfenced’ and ‘out of reach’ carry strong connotations of no restrictions and endless space which is mirrored in rural environments.

e.g. a paragraph which focuses on 1 writer:

Blake’s “London” employs natural imagery but portrays the city as crowded and haunted by using sound imagery such as ‘cry’, ‘sigh’ and ‘curse’ all of which suggest suffering.  However, there is no such suffering in “The Echoing Green” where ‘Old John with white hair, Does laugh way care, Sitting under the oak’. The symbolism of age and kinship in the oak and the white head convey dignity. John is retired and yet still part of the community.  Blake presents village as places of natural growth ‘Such were the joys / When we all, girls and boys / In our youth time were seen / On the echoing green” portrays children growing up, leading that same rural life and finally sitting ‘under the oak’ watching the next generation themselves.  This reinforces a sense of unchanging community through the generations, resisting the pressures of the ever changing materialistic city of ‘London’.  Blake’s repeated epithet of “On the Echoing Green” emphasises the importance of the ‘green’ to the community and its colour as a symbol of growth and life.

Use of Frameworks:  select from a range of literary and linguistic terms in order to analyse the texts and demonstrate how the writers have created their effects. (see above examples). YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THIS DURING YOUR CLASS STUDY OF ALL THE TEXTS!   It is important to plan to use a good range of analytical ‘tools’ – from exploring the ‘word’ level of the texts to the use of metaphor / symbolism. BUT do not treat this as a list to be ‘ticked off’. Every point made about linguistic / literary devices MUST BE DEVELOPED BY A DISCUSSION OF THE EFFECT  - IMAGES AND IDEAS CREATED.

Context:  you need to contextualise the material chosen intelligently. Contextual comment should have a direct bearing on the argument of the essay where the context has an important influence on the language choice of the writer.  You must avoid unnecessary biographical detail about the writers which adds little to show your understanding / analytical skill. 

A2 LITERATURE - TOPIC THE RIVALS & THE SONGS

The two texts I've chosen for this part of the course and texts that are opposites in many ways.

Here are the main topics of comparison and contrast between Blake's Songs and Sheridan's The Rivals.

As we begin to study these texts it might be a good idea to think about each of these topics and consider what they mean and perhaps consider what expectations you have for the texts.


Settings, love, class, appearance and reality, youth and age, morality - religion, power, stasis and change and conflict.

How are these themes presented in the poetry and in the play?



A2 LITERATURE - KING LEAR HOMEWORK

HOMEWORK DUE
Tuesday 17 December - with Jon's class
Wednesday 18 December - with Clare's class

TASK

1‘King Lear is “a very foolish, fond old man” who deserves everything he gets.’

How far do you agree with this statement.


2 ‘Things fall apart the centre cannot hold’

In the light of this statement consider how does order break down in Britain during the course of the play? Who is to blame?



3‘Tigers not daughters’

Explore the role and presentation of women in the play King Lear.


4 ‘Loyalty is the state or quality of being faithful to one’s commitments or obligations.’

Examine the role of Kent in the light of this assertion.

5 ‘King Lear is a play in which two worlds fight and a new world is created.’

Discuss this statement in the light of the play.


6 King Lear is a play concerned with the making of heroes. Consider this statement by exploring the dramatic effects of the play.

A2 LL - SUGGESTED ESSAY QUESTIONS

A2 ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE
UNIT 4 COURSEWORK
SUGGESTED ESSAY TITLES


DEADLINES
First draft deadline Friday 10 January 2004 in class
Final deadline week beginning 10 February 2014 - actual date to be confirmed

Once you have selected an essay title you should begin to plan the essay. One way to start this could be to write down everything that comes to your mind that is relevant to the essay topic. Consider the key word in relation to two or three poems from one of the poets. And then consider the same key word in relation to one other text – three poems or a short story. 

Try and identify links – similarities and or differences between the different writers you have chosen. As you continue this make a note of relevant quotations that you might use in the essay. Another starting point might be to define the key word in the title and jot down ideas associated to that concept. 

REMEMBER THE ESSAY MUST COMPARE TWO TEXTS* ON A COMMON THEME. ONE WRITER MUST BE A POET!

Compare the different ways in which your chosen writers present childhood experience in their work.

Compare the ways in which your chosen writers present isolated characters in their literature.

Compare the variety of ways your chosen writers explore the use of settings in their literature.

Compare the variety of ways in which your chosen writers present personal relationships in their texts.

Compare the ways your chosen writers use the narrative voice in their literary works.

Compare the variety of ways in which your chosen writers examine the theme of nature

Compare the ways your chosen writers create vivid experiences in their writing.


*A text is equal to three poems or one short story – you should draw your evidence from 2 or 3 relevant extracts from the short story.

Monday, 2 December 2013

AS LITERATURE - 1000 WORD COURSEWORK GENERAL FEEDBACK

This post will be updated regularly over the next two weeks. As you write the final draft of your 1000 word essay make sure you check for updates.

updated 9 December

Reading through these draft essays it's clear some of you have not read my notes posted to the teaching blog about this essay. I've tried to help you with these posts. Use them.

Make sure you comment on the form of Hughes poetry in Birthday Letters. refer to the genre of autobiography, the combination of narrative - story telling, descriptive writing and reflective writing. Comment on the genre of letters. What is the purpose of letter writing? What might these letters be trying to say to Plath? Who is the audience - fictional and literal? Make sure you refer to free verse, the mixture of registers - informal and colloquial language that may be consistent to letter writing to someone the writer knows, combined with the more formal lexis consistent to a more literary or elevated audience - us.

You absolutely must refer to the collection in the introduction and refer to at least one or two other poems studied - show how they are similar or different. It's important that you show you have studied more than one poem from the collection.

Make the different paragraphs link to each other so that it actually reads like an essay rather than a series of stand alone paragraphs all stuffed together in any order. 

Make sure before you use a quotation you must put the quotation in context. Otherwise the quote does not really make much sense. It's your opportunity to show you understand the poem.

All your comments and observations must be focused on the poem not the relationship between Hughes and Plath. You are writing an essay about Hughes writing style and the theme referred to in the essay question. You must keep these in mind as you edit your essay.

Some brief comments on You Hated Spain

You must really know this poem a lot better than you do.

Use every relevant quotation to analyse in relation to your title essay title.

From the poem 'You Hated Spain' the line,'The wrought-iron grille, death and the Arab drum', you should refer to the list of three, the phrases refer to grille - ventilation but seen as a prison? 'death' can be associated with The Peninsular War of 1807-1814, the Spanish Civil War 1936-1939, World War II 1939-1945, and the brutal Spanish dictator, 1939 - 1975. This list of three are impressions of Spain - snap shots if you like - that suggest its history and influence.

I think Spanish attitudes towards death are different from those of western Europe.The dead are celebrated welcomed in to people's homes where an alter like structure is created with photographs, mementos, food and drink - that were enjoyed by the dead person - are put on display. These celebrations are called The Day of the Dead.

I think Spain was a place that exposed her mental insecurities. It was a place where her mental problems became obvious. She could hide these in America. But not here. Only with leaving Spain could she begin to feel at ease again.

 

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

DESCRIPTION ANALYSIS

Here are two paragraphs. Which one is descriptive and which one is description? Which of these two paragraphs is better than the other one?

1

Heaney creates strong vivid pictures in his poetry. One way he creates strong visual images is by using the senses. In the poem Blackberry-Picking Heaney describes the blackberries, their
'...flesh was sweet
Like thickened wine: summer's blood was in it'
In this quote Heaney says the blackberries were very tasty and compares them to drinking wine. He makes the blackberries seem nice and attractive and alive.

2

Heaney creates strong vivid pictures in his poetry. One way he creates strong visual images is by using the senses. In the poem Blackberry-Picking Heaney describes the blackberries, their
'...flesh was sweet
Like thickened wine: summer's blood was in it'
The noun 'sweet' makes the blackberries pleasing to taste. And references to 'flesh', and 'blood' gives us the impression of the blackberries being a living body or organism. 'Blood' is associated with the colour red with connotations of passion and lust. The metaphorical 'summer's blood' has connotations of vitality and energy.