A2 LL - RECASTING TASK EXAMPLE ANSWER

A2 ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE

ELLA 3

TASK – DIARY ENTRY – FORCE FEEDING

 

Below is a recast question and answer based on an article from CVupcakes. However the article is from a section of the book not set for the exam this year. However it won't take long to read the article and you'll have an example of a recast and commentary text.

Read the source material which follows and answer both questions:

Text A is from an article entitled How it Feels to be Forcibly Fed by Djuna Barnes.

It was first published in New York World in 1914.

Imagine that you are one of the guards present at Djuna Barnes’s force feeding. You have been keeping a journal of the events during your job as a prison guard watching the development of the Women’s Movement.

Using the source material, write the text of your journal.

Your audience will be yourself.

You should adapt the source material, using your own words as far as possible. Your text should be approximately 300 – 400 words in length.

In your adaptation you should:

• use language appropriately to address purpose and audience

• write accurately and coherently, applying relevant ideas and concepts.

(25 marks)

Another force feeder today. This one chooses to do this. She’s not a prisoner here. She’s not even British. She says she wants to show solidarity to her ‘English sisters’. What an idiot! I don’t think she knew what she let herself in for. But she soon found out alright.

She was all confident when we took her down the corridor to the feeding room. Quiet like but strong, the independent type. She looked a’right I s’pose.

But inside the room I clocked her. A look of fear in her eyes and her hands shaking. She looked nervous now as the doctor unpacked his bags and laid out his things. I think she almost gagged when he took out the rubber tubing.

Then we started on her. The usual routine. We put her on the table, me, Jim, Eric and John. And the doctor began to bind her with a sheet. At least this one didn’t struggle or scream or try an’ scratch or bite like they usually do. She was calm but rigid. Her eyes were scared – wide and bulging and staring around the bare walls, at the door, the chair, the doctor. Anything but the blank grey ceiling.

I think the waiting was difficult for her. After he sprayed her we waited for her to calm down and after a little while she seemed to let go and accept her situation. It seemed to take ages though. She fixed her eyes on the milk in the bucket.

Then the tube came. She didn’t like that. Her whole body stiffened. She was rigid. We held her down hard and felt the pressure of her muscles clenching convulsing and twisting. Her eyes were blind panic.

Then as the doctor started pouring I saw her struggle. Her face went pale. Her eyes wild, full of panic an’ horror. She stared out blindly like she was in pain or somthin’. She looked sick an’ orrible. I dunno….maybe the milk hurt ‘er. At one point I thought she was gonna pass out. But she held on.

Afterwards you could tell she was angry. Really narked I reckon. All the fear went. She didn’t say a thing for ages. She rubbed her throat. She sort of smiled. But you could tell there were tears in her eyes now. As we’re going she starts asking the doctor questions. Bloody hell! Can you believe it! What an idiot!

Question 3

Write a commentary which explains the choices you made when writing your text

commenting on the following:

• how language and form have been used to suit audience and purpose

• how vocabulary and other stylistic features have been used to shape meaning and

achieve particular effects.

You should aim to write about 150 – 250 words in this commentary.

(15 marks)

The most important feature of the journal was the use of an informal register. I used an informal register primarily because it suited the genre of journal writing. The audience is private – primarily the writer himself. The purpose of writing is to aid the recollection of specific events.

I used a number of techniques to achieve this. One technique was the use of ellipsis. For example ‘She looked a’right I s’pose. This helped make the narrative voice sound realistic and genuine. These transitive verbs make the guard sound working class. I also used elision – this shows that the guard writes as he speaks. For example, ‘I dunno….I thought she was gonna pass out.’ This may show a lack of familiarity with writing and also emphasises the private and restricted audience. Another feature of the informal register was the use of colloquial and idiomatic language. The informal adjectives ‘clocked’ and ‘narked’ were used to emphasise the genuine voice of the guard and the private or restricted audience.

Another important feature of the text was the use of short, simple declarative sentences. For example ‘Really narked I reckon. All the fear went.’ These are all used to give a quick impression of the woman’s situation. The sentences are like brief notes and add to the informality of the text. Ellipsis is used here. It makes the journal sound much more like a quick diary entry.

These sentences also add to the narrator’s detached attitude towards the woman. She is referred to anonymously – and only referred to using the third person personal pronoun ‘she,’ ‘one’ or ‘her’. This shows the guards indifference and lack of sympathy for the woman.

 

 

Informal register	An informal form of language appropriate to a particular situation
ellipsis	omission or suppression of parts of words or sentences
transitive verbs	a verb that requires an object in order to be grammatical for example ‘Paul hit the ball over the fence.’
elision	Elision is the omission of one or more sounds in a word or phrase, producing a result that is easier for the speaker to pronounce.
Colloquial	the use of slang in writing, often to create local colour and to provide an informal tone
idiomatic language	the usage or vocabulary that is characteristic of a specific group of people: ‘The SELLER covenants that he/she is the lawful owner of said equine
Adjectives	A word that describes a noun: ‘The cold night’
declarative sentences	A sentence that makes a statement: ‘Life is very long’
Personal pronouns	Personal pronouns are pronouns used as substitutes for proper or common nouns.