A2 LL - FEEDBACK ON RECASTING ON EVERYBODY WINS AND ALL MUST HAVE PRIZES

A2 ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE
ELLA 3 COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS AND TEXT ADAPTATION
CUPCAKES - FEED BACK FROM EVERYBODY WINS

Here are some of the main points raised in the timed extract

NOTES FROM EVERYBODY WINS AND ALL MUST HAVE PRIZES BY MELANIE PHILLIPS

 

There were at least 17 different points made in the extract that could have been used in the recasting task. Below is a list of these points and a comment on roughly how many people used the information. I don't know exactly how many points you should make but I'd recommend at least a third (6) to a half (9)

 

1 Current government policy is to destroy the concept of failure or a right or wrong answer.

• most of you referred to this point

2 Government is destroying the concept of achievement

• most of you referred to this point

3 One way they are doing this is to allow students from poor schools to university with lower A Level grades

• some of you referred to this point

 

4 Ideological points have become more important than facts

• one or two referred to this point

5 Educationalists want to artificially enable students to get to university – this is a mistake

• some of you referred to this point

6 Labour are concerned with educational equality

• one or two referred to this point

7 This means in practise that excellence is being eradicated

• most of you referred to this point

8 If people fail than this is seen as the education system has failed – a mistake

• one or two referred to this point

9 Education Minister disagrees with the concept that universities can only benefit a few

 

• one or two referred to this point

10 Top up fees have come into existence because there are so many new students at university
 

• one or two of you referred to this point

11 Exam grades have been manipulated to enable more students to pass
 

•  most of you referred to this point

12 This country is losing an objective measure of educational attainment

• no one referred to this point I think

13 Broadening of courses – more students qualified – but less knowledge
 

• Some of you referred to this point

14 On the international stage UK is way down  on achievement
 

•  one or two of you referred to this point

15 University IQ tests an option – its aim to draw in working class children – nothing to do with achievement

• one or two of you referred to this point

16 Government trying to manipulate society at the expense of academic strength

•  some of you referred to this point

17 At the end we will have a failed education system and students paying for the privilege

• only one or two referred to this point

Observations on the recast task

Only 4 key content points out of a possible 17 points - by my reckoning - dominated the speeches that is less than 1/4 of the source material content. It's a difficult juggling act. It's important to get lots of content in your text and important to present it clearly within the genre. You must write detailed and concise text. You will be able to do this if you know the article before the exam and read it again very carefully in the exam.


Choosing the speaker of this speech can make it easier to get marks. For example having the speaker a head teacher or governor of a school would add an edge to the speech  

Little evidence of planning for either text was evident. There were no notes to reflect on in your commentary.

Highlighters seemed a favourite but almost made meaningless at times as whole swathes of the text were highlighted. Better I think to make marginal notes in the margin

There is a clear purpose to the speech. So make it very clear you want parents to act. Tell them how they should act. Beginning, middle and definitely the end - as a conclusion.

Where does it say that education grades are falling to stop students feeling bad or hurt? Education grades have fallen to enable students from 'sink schools' to get to university.

Use short simple sentences – among a range of different sentence structures.

Use strong rhetorical devices – very few of these in evidence

Making up your own examples of success or failure shows engagement with the source text and ideas

It's important to have a call to action. Refer to the question set at the end of the speech

Observations on the commentary

Timing continues to be a problem for some of you. It's important to work very efficiently in the exam.

Terms that are easily used but seldom used effectively are terms like 'high' and 'low frequency lexis' and 'personal pronoun's like 'I' or 'we' or 'us'. These are low level technical terms and should be avoided unless you have a very important point to make.

There were no references to register or syntax or rhetorical devices. These are key frameworks for speech writing.

SOME COMMENTS ON RECASTING FOR A SPEECH

As this is a speech you must select the most impressive and most important point to begin the speech.

You should make sure you grab the attention of your audience. Use shock tactics, humour and rhetorical devices to get their attention.

Repetition is a simple key feature of speeches. But use it carefully and selectively.