ELLA 3 INTGRATED ANALYSIS AND TEXT ADAPTATION
MOCK FEEDBACK – RECASTING TASK AND COMMENTARY
Below is a list of points I would expect to find in a recasting task on this article. They are written in the order they appear in the article and should not suggest that this is the order you should use in your recast task. I have tried to use different words here than in the source text – essential to any recasting task. By coincidence this is one of the articles we have studied in class already. You should have as I have a list of bullet points identifying the main content points of the article. Before I began marking I quickly skimmed through my annotations, marginal notes and what I had underlined. A lot more came back to me about the article as I did this.
As the marker I had the luxury of reading the article at least twice before I started marking.
Here are the notes I made about this article when we studied it in class.
1 Malthus – the father of Birth Control
2 Earth has plenty of resources
3 The organisation of resources creates poverty for most and health for a few and prosperity for a few
4 Huge period of social change – the war
5 People who are deprived of resources and live pressurised lives cannot produce healthy children
6 We are experiencing huge increase in disabled children
7 The results of lack of birth control has become a major problem
8 Women are becoming aware of their status – huge sacrifice of giving to society
9 Women have been subservient and obedient in society being dutiful to husbands, the church, the needs of society and morality
10 That there is little no provision from the state for birth and children
11 Women will no longer accept the situation
12 Women want control of their own fertility
13 Constant child rearing has led to medical problems for women
14 Men can see advantages in birth control
15 Large families cause physical and mental problems for working men
16 women largely seen as an object / a means to an end
17 but a growing number of men recognise that their own liberation is completely dependent on their wives becoming liberated – free
RECAST TASK
Refer to series
Refer to Sunday newspaper readers – the question is not specific about whether it is a broad sheet or tabloid paper. They seem to have left this open for you to decide. This is a commentary opportunity where you can choose a register and lexical choice and show how these are appropriate for the typre of Sunday paper you have written for.
It’s really important to prioritise the information to include in the recast text. Some content is must include, some content is could include, some content is do not include. You have to discriminate very carefully and select information suited to purpose and audience.
This is a very intense exam task and you must work incredibly fast and in an efficient manner. You need to be prepared for a very intense and productive hour. Every second counts.
· Successful students will pay attention to detail and write concisely.
· This is why it is vital that you read and annotate all the articles prescribed for the exam. Do not be caught out by having to read an article for the first time. Reading the article in the exam should be a prompt and a reminder of an article you have already studied either in class or independently.
· You must really take the trouble to read the question very carefully. I think many of you assume that the article should be persuasive and that it is your job to put forward a radical perspective. The question requires an objective, detached overview giving a balanced and unemotional text.
- It is clear from the question set that you must take a historical overview of the subject rather than writing about birth control in the imkmediate present of 1916 - when this article was written. The aricle should be dominated by the past tense.
- Articles should have a title. You could also include a longer and more detailed sub title. Another feature of articles is the use of headings within the text as well. We couild use these structual headings. Often these are quotes taken from the article itself. They are a useful feature that you can use to comment on in a commentary.
KEY FEATURES JOURNALISM
·
Could
be personal /formal
• Could be
persuasive / informative/entertaining / instructional
• Could be
general / specific group / named
• Heading /
sub heading / structural headings
o Introduction,
main body, conclusion
• Assertion
/ argument – topic sentence that will summarise the entire article
• Evidence
• Counter
assertion
• Evidence
• General
evaluation
• Use of
quotations from key people
• Use of
anecdote – example
• Use of factual
/ statistical information
• Ref to
professional bodies / institutions
• Maybe
biased subjective – polemic
• Maybe
objective – balanced
• Variety
of sentence structures and functions – for attention
• Could be
generally broadsheet uses formal register / tabloid uses journalese
• Will be
informative / entertaining / could be persuasive
• Could be
general adult, student, specific audience
Read the section on revising skills in the revision guide to this blog.
COMMENTARY
The main issue is timing. It is absolutely vital that you keep to the timings published by the exam board and recommended by me. They are 15 minutes to plan and prepare your task, 25 minutes to write the recast text and 20 minutes to write the commentary.
These timings assume that you have read and annotated the source text before you have come into the exam room. They will not assume or take into account that this is the first time you have read this text.
Most of you used the template recommended for writing the commentary. This involved
· An introduction in which you identified the recast purpose[s], its genre and audience[s].
· Then a series of paragraphs in which you identify either, a topic sentence, evidence in the form of a quotation, followed by a comment that includes at least two linguistic / literary terms, references to attitudes and assumptions towards the topic and the effect on a reader. Or identify a linguistic / literary term, a quotation and a comment that includes references to attitudes and assumptions towards the topic and effect on a reader. All paragraphs must answer the question;
what are the language choices I have made to communicate this content within this genre for its specific purpose[s] and aimed at its target audience?
For the record we have read and studied in depth 21 articles in class together. There are another 16 articles we have not covered in class. There are about 6 weeks to go before the exam and I hope we will cover another 5 or 6 articles in class.
I recommend that you use over 12 linguistic and literary terms.
One easy way of managing this is to use quotations from your recast task that have 3 or 4 linguistic and literary features in them. This will enable you to write three or four things about one quotation.
It's also important to comment on the effect of the linguistic / literary features you use. Each term may well have its own effect.
